God's Butterfly

I have faced many trials in my life but none like the one I experienced in 2015. It was the middle of the summer and life seemed to be perfectly fine. I have had many small trials in my life, but nothing ever compared to what I was about to experience. Before I continue, I need to note that I do not believe it is necessary to discuss the details of the trial itself (maybe in an upcoming Blog). The reason for this is I feel it would take away from the spiritual meaning of the blog post. Telling the trial details would cause the focus to be on the trial more than the lesson at hand.

Let's continue: I had just spent the week with my children relaxing by the pool. That Saturday, I left my family behind in Pennsylvania and headed back to Danville, Virginia. Sunday started as any normal Sunday would have started. I got up and headed to church to start the process of my Sunday routine. Turned on the lights, turned down the AC, and unlocked the appropriate doors in preparation for the services. I went through my service with no hiccups and also completed the Sunday evening service without any issues. Then, upon my arrival back at the parsonage, I received the phone call that turned my world upside down. When I hung up the phone I felt my whole life flash before my eyes. I had no one around to talk to, no one to discuss the issue with, and I felt all ALONE! That night was a restless night of tossing, turning, and yes, crying. I did not know how to pray, I did not know what to pray, and all I could pray was, "Lord are you there?"

Again, before continuing, I have a question for you to answer. Have you ever felt all alone in a difficult time of your life? Did you ever wonder where God was or if He was even listening to you? Have you ever asked God the question, "are you there"?

From the moment of salvation God sends the Holy Spirit to dwell inside of the Christian. The Holy Spirit will sometimes be quiet but He never leaves you. He is your earnest or down payment for the inheritance you have to look forward to in Heaven. What a blessing to know that He is always with us. But, sometimes, we can still feel all alone. What if I told you that you did not have to ever feel that way? Let us continue the story.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday seemed to drag by slowly. I had tried talking to people by reaching out to friends, family, and I even went to see a counselor. No matter what, I found myself still feeling empty and all alone. I felt as if God had abandoned me to deal with this on my own. My anxieties and worries from the raging waves of a trial surrounded me. I could not see nor hear over the storm. I kept crying out to God, "where are you? Speak to me, I need you now more than ever." There was NO RESPONSE, or so I thought. It seemed as if God was not answering me. The whole time I was dealing with this God was saying, "shhhhh, listen to the small still voice." He was quietly saying... "I'm here". It wasn't until Thursday when I realized what I had been missing but also seeing all week long.

On Monday morning when I went to go over to the church it was on the mirror of my van. I had never seen such a beautiful one as this in my whole life. On Tuesday, 2 miles away from the parsonage I saw it attached to the church door. On Wednesday, I saw it 10 miles away from the parsonage at the counselors office. On Thursday, I mowed the lawn, and while mowing, it flew right in front of me. On Friday, I went by the church and saw it on the fellowship hall pillars as I entered the fellowship hall. As stated a little earlier by Thursday, after seeing it while mowing the lawn, I had acknowledged the fact that I had seen it all week long. But on Saturday, I was really looking EVERYWHERE for this Beautiful creature. Now I am sure you have figured out what this creature is just from the title of the blog alone. It was a beautiful butterfly but not just any butterfly. It was dark blue almost black with bright blue tips on its wings. Up until Saturday evening I did not know why I had seen the butterfly all week long. I did not acknowledge the significance of it until late Saturday night.

Let me pause for one minute and acknowledge the elephant in the room. Most people struggle with the things I am about to talk about in reference to God. But let me reassure you of some things to encourage your faith. God is all powerful, He created everything we see and don't see. Plus He didn't just create it and leave it, the Bible teaches us that He sustains it! (Hebrew 1:3) He is still in control of all things. Even in Jobs difficult trial God speaks to Him and practically says, "I've got this" (Job 38:33-37). So, if you asked me, "Brent do you truly believe God was speaking to you through this butterfly?" I will look you straight in the eye and say, "If God can speak through the mouth of a donkey and in a flame engulfed bush, yes, of course I do"!

Okay, back to Saturday's frantic investigation. All day long I looked for my butterfly. I had realized God was telling me, through His creation, "I am here". The hours passed by, I went to the church, I walked around the outside of the house, and it was nowhere to be seen. My heart began to sink back into the deep hole It had been in all week long. I started sobbing because I had lost the butterfly. So, like any other person going through a trial, I began looking at pictures that were supposed to bring joy. These included pictures I had taken from the Saturday before with my children. After swiping through a few, there it was, over 320 miles away from my present location from a week earlier. My youngest boy was staring at the exact butterfly I had been looking for all day long. My butterfly, that God had sent me all week long. My butterfly, that God had been saying, "I am Here", to me every day. My butterfly, that was to bring peace in the storm and the acknowledgement of Gods presence. My butterfly, the creation of God, His beautiful butterfly!

To the date of the origional writing of this blog, I had not seen that butterfly again. (Ill explain that in a later blog) I know that God was quietly whispering to me that He was with me in the storm. This memory has stayed with me since that day. So, how can I help you in your time of trial? Be encouraged, God is with you in every trial and storm of life. No person on this earth can help like God can in the storms. One of my favorite psalms sums this whole blog up. Psalm 139:7-12 tells us, no matter where we are, God is there! We cannot escape His presence. This can be a scary thought (because of sin) or it can be an encouragement that God is always near. This psalm states, "Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me." Even there, wherever that trial may be located, God is holding you!

Remember God is not in the storm, He is not in the earth quake, He is the small still voice. All we have to do is calmly look and listen and maybe you can finalky see God's Butterfly!